As my dear friend and mentor, Silvio, is about to embark on the full Camino Frances today, I am in a place of nostalgia and reflection, which of course leads me to want to write. And think about my wonderful trip.
Much has changed in the past two months. I have started my first full time job as a teacher and I love it. I am no longer half student, half teacher, I am the full blown thing, which can be incredibly unnerving. I also have had personal issues in my life that have had an immense impact on all other aspects of my life. I have been brought to my knees many days from a feeling of not knowing what to do. While I love my job, there are some mornings where I don't want to leave my bed just because the day seems too challenging, too insurmountable. The past two months, my kids have kept me at school and kept me coming back everyday.
But this morning, on my way to school, I began thinking about Silvio and the Camino. How there were mornings where I didn't want to get up. I wanted to give up and quit and just take a bus to Santiago. I didn't want to climb mountains or go down through valleys because every part of my body hurt and I had a 30 pound backpack to schlep along with me (my one regret was overpacking). But, much like now, I didn't really have a choice about getting out of bed. I had to get up and continue on my journey. And every day it was worth it. I met new people, saw new things, and had great conversations that left me fulfilled by the end of the long day. I learned over and over that the journey of the day made all of the pain and challenge worth it. I even had the trail marker tattooed on me to remind me of this lesson and yet in 2 months I have forgotten. But thanks to Silvio, I have been reminded again.
I know that for months to come, it will still be hard to get out of bed. I will have really really hard days and pretty good days. But now my goal is to remember that the joy is in the journey, not in the destination. At this point, I am not even really sure what my destination is, I just know that I am ready for what I am dealing with the be over. But the camino helped me learn that that is no way to live your life. The camino is always going to be with me, and for that, I am thankful.
Also, BUEN CAMINO, SILVIO!!!!
